Christian, dating, Faith, relationships, Uncategorized

Jesus then Jeff

This story begins during my college days. College was an interesting season in my life. I had great friends, lived in one of the most beautiful parts of Texas, spent most weekends floating the river, and I did well in school. On the other end of the spectrum, I had a constant feeling of emptiness that I tried to fill up with partying, attention from guys and an eating disorder. I was desperate to find the guy I would marry and be able to start creating a life with. This desperate search for love and acceptance didn’t go over well. I was looking for love in all the wrong places and didn’t hold very high standards for myself. Because of my past, I felt like I was damaged goods and believed I didn’t deserve the best in a relationship. This quest for love turned into a cycle of rejection and heartache that made me feel less and less worthy.

One day I had an emotional breakdown in my car. I felt so alone, hopeless and empty. I knew I was done living the way I had the past 3 years. I cried out to God for the first time and asked him to take away my pain. He was there immediately. I didn’t hear an audible voice or see an angel, but I felt the presence of God so strongly in my little car. I felt surrounded by His love, and a sudden peace came over me. I promised God in that moment that I would stop trying to pursue relationships with guys and I would start getting to know Him. That very weekend I found a church to go to all by myself. Seeking a relationship with God turned out to be exactly what I needed. My emptiness was filled up by the love of my Savior. God built me up and showed me that I was worthy, I was loved, and to Him I was precious. 

A few months later my mom was going on and on about this guy my parents had met at our family Thanksgiving.  She kept saying that there was something different about this guy and I just had to meet him. At this point I was still swearing off men and really didn’t think letting my mother set me up was the key to happiness. Turns out, my Mom is always right…. We were traveling up to Cheyenne, Wyoming to watch my dad rope at Frontier Days. My mom kept on me that I should meet up with Jeff while we were there. I finally gave in and messaged Jeff (who had been sending me messages since Thanksgiving) to let him know we would be in town. He quickly replied with a rendezvous spot for that very night.  

My sister and I drove over to the Albertson’s parking lot Jeff had requested we meet him at. I was very skeptical as we pulled in. Jeff was already there and stepped out of his truck with a big grin as we parked. I know it sounds weird, but I could tell from the moment we made eye contact that this was the man I was going to marry. It was like God was telling me Jeff was the reason all those other relationships didn’t work. It wasn’t because there was something wrong with me; it was because God had someone so much better in mind. God knew I needed to find Him before I would be ready to find the man he had planned for me. God waited on me through all of my mess. He never gave up on me and He was there with open arms when I came running back to him.

God’s plan is always better than our own. Your story may look very different then mine in the end, but one thing will always be true. God will never give up on me or you.

Spoiler Alert: Jeff and I didn’t ride off into a beautiful sunset of a courtship. We had heck working out our differences and making it through a long distance relationship. The story just begins here, come back next week to see how it all went down. 

Have a blessed week friends,


2 Tools to Get You Out of that Funk

Hey y’all, Im going to cut the introductions and get down to the truth of the matter.

I’ve been in a funk.

The kind where you feel like you are in a hole and you can’t dig yourself out. On and off for the past couple of weeks, I have struggled mentally, emotionally and physically. Now please don’t worry too much about me, I am not writing this for pity or for attention. I have an amazing support group that I run to when I need help digging myself out of the pits of self destruction I sometimes get lost in. The reason I feel the need to let my readers know the struggle I am going through is I think there is a pretty good chance that you might have or will go through a similar thing. Maybe you’re struggling now as you read this. God has a mysterious way of getting us to stumble onto reading the thing we need to read, right when we need it.

You might sometimes, like me, find yourself crying in your closet for no particular reason other than you can’t get that negative, self-hating voice in your head to be quiet. You, like me, might have felt so alone in these moments. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t explain this to anyone else. How could anybody understand, when you don’t really get it yourself? It’s like everything in life can be going along quite nicely, but for some reason your mind gets caught up in a cycle of negativity and frustration and you feel like you might never be able to get it back on a positive course. It’s ok friend. I have those days, those weeks, those ever repeating “off” moments too. The good news is I’m starting to figure out ways to get myself out of them more quickly than I used to. I believe my strategy might help you get out of those blue moods a little quicker, so you can get back to enjoying life and seeing the beauty in all God is doing around you. The Lord gave us two tools we can use whenever we are struggling with anxiety or any other mental battle.

  1. Prayer
  2. Thankfulness

Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

These are simple things that don’t require me to get out of my bathrobe, I can do them even when I’m in the middle of a blubbering break down, and they start working for me immediately.

  1. Prayer: This seems like a no-brainer, right? Prayer is the answer for everything. It’s our lifeline to our savior. Yes, of course. But the type of prayer I am talking about is especially powerful in those times when you need help getting out of your head.It’s easy, PRAY FOR OTHER PEOPLE. Get alone, get on the ground ( I like to pray in childs pose), and start praying for every single person that comes to mind. Pray for every person that has asked for prayer recently, pray for the ones that haven’t asked, pray for the loved ones that you desperately want to find Jesus, pray for the sick, pray for those who are hurting. If your mind is blank ask God who needs prayer and he will bring you the names. Pray for the orphans, pray for the widows, pray for the hungry, pray for those enslaved, pray for the broken, pray for those addicted to drugs or alcohol. Pray until you have nothing else to pray. You will end your prayer in a different state of mind. I promise. The beautiful thing is you will have spent precious time in the presence of God petitioning for the people who need it the most, while at the same time changing your focus from your own mental issues, to the needs of others. Phillipians 4:6
  2. Thankfulness: Another no-brainer, I know. But it works. Get out a pen and a paper and start writing down the things you are thankful for. Thank the Lord for each little blessing as you go. Think about the good things, the little things that make you happy, the people, the sunsets, the cup of coffee, the full nights sleep, the compliment, the smile, the text. Think about it all, write it down on your list, and then thank God for it.

That is all I’ve got. Don’t knock it until you try it. There have been times I have wanted to sit and sulk in my misery, and times I was too stubborn to follow my own simple two-step advice. However, any time I have committed to following my plan I have been able to change my mind set and pull myself out of that negative place.

I’m happy to report that I am out of that nasty funk now. The clouds have parted and the love of Jesus is shining down on me like rays of sunlight. I hope this post helps you when you need it. Life is full of the good moments as well as the bad ones. The key is staying close to God through every changing season.

Be blessed my friends,