Good morning friends. I keep reminding myself that it is indeed a good morning. We are all alive. safe. warm. well fed. After that it gets a little hard to recall the things I’m grateful for as I sit here guzzling my third cup of coffee before 9 am. Last night was a nightmare, but not the kind you sleep through. It was a real life nightmare, spurred on by a 18 month old with a ponytail on top of her head and misery affliction in her eyes.
Jeff was scheduled to visit a customer up close to where my grandparents live, so we decided to jump in the pick up with him so the girls and I could spend some time with Gram and Gramps while he worked. We had a nice evening and a delicious supper. About 8:30 pm, I hauled the pack and play up the stairs and got it perfectly comfy and cozy to put Ella down in. We timed it just right so we were all ready to go to bed and wouldn’t wake Ella up after she was asleep. We layed her down with a sippy cup full of perfect temp lactose free milk. We sighed with relief as we shut the door to her room and tip-toed out and into our beds.
It lasted about 8 minutes, and then came the blood curdling scream. It sounded like she was being physically tortured. I rushed into the room thinking there had to be something seriously wrong for her to be screaming that way. Picked her up. She giggled. WTH… I rolled my eyes, bounced her around the room for a minute until she was yawning and rubbing her eyes. As I carefully laid her back into the pack n play, her eyes popped open wide and she crawled me like a cat. It was that moment I realized we were in for a long night. I could go on and recall the events of the evening that seemed to last a life time, but I’ll save you the anguish of reading it. I’ll just share a couple memorable moments.
At one point about 11pm Jeff and I looked at each other and cracked up laughing at the situation, if we wouldn’t of been laughing we would of been crying. We were of course worried my grandparents couldn’t sleep with all the ruckus Ella was causing in the bedroom above them, and about to lose our minds not knowing how to calm Ella down and maker her fall asleep.
At another point after Ella had screamed for about 5 minutes straight, she stopped abruptly and proceeded to happily chuckle to herself and crawl back and forth across the bed kissing me and Jeff on our foreheads. I thought to myself, “oh no, what if she has a multiple personality disorder.”
Then about 3 am she popped up wide awake from a 30 minute stretch of sleep. Desperate, I handed her my phone with a downloaded Netflix show praying for just another small block of sleep. She happily took my phone and began a cycle of watching the show for about one minute, pressing the home button which stoped her show and then pushing the phone in my face so I could get it back going for her. This lasted until my phone which was on 13% battery when we began, died a painful death. It was a special night.
I share this all in hopes that it will serve as an effective means of birth control for all of the young people reading this… only kidding. My main purpose for sharing is to let all the moms and dads out there in the trenches of raising small children, know that you are not alone. It is so easy to look at social media and the adorable pictures of kids being sweet and seemingly well behaved and think, “maybe I’m not good at this parenting thing.” Don’t believe that for one minute. You are absolutely killing it! You are “nailing it” as a parent. You are surviving the long nights. You didn’t throw the kid in it’s crib and drive far away at a fast rate of speed. You love that small, adorable, life sucker, with all your heart. Just like I love mine. You’re probably snuggling them right now as you read this. They are dozing off for a good nap, so they are rested up to cause terror once again tonight. Only kidding again…..kind of…. I remind myself often, that no one takes pictures when they are about to lose their mind and the kid is running down the hall after they dipped one hand in the toilet and unraveling the toilet paper with the other. No one posts moments like that. We only post the highlight reel, filled with the moments that portray parenthood as a blissful walk in the park. So don’t sweat it. Don’t compare. You are doing an incredible job.
I am going to sign off now, so I can find some more caffeine and spend some time alone with God. We are raising little world changers, little sons and daughters of the one true King. It’s a hard job, but it’s the most important job we will ever do. So keep up the good work. I’m praying for you and me both.
God bless you and give you strength,