Confession # 1

I’m addicted to my phone.

Mostly social media.

Instagram being my first app of choice and Facebook a close second.

I’m spending hours, yes HOURS, meaning more than one…closer to 4 or 5 a day staring into this perfectly pixilated screen. Scrolling through picture after picture, post after post, losing myself into a world of OOTDs, workout tips, beauty must haves and an endless supply of things I totally need to buy. It’s insane.

This is my first time admitting this, and I know my husband is going to have a complete “I told you so” hay-day tomorrow when this post pops up in his inbox and he reads the first line. Oh well, this situation is becoming a problem, and we all know the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.

Ever since this new little Iphone tool called the “Screen Time Weekly Report” bombarded my life with the fact that I was wasting hours of my life in iPhone land, I have been thinking of a way to get a hold of this.

Why am I spending so much time on my phone? Lord knows I’m not bored. The hours that I’m not scrolling mindlessly are spent chasing two little girls, folding never ending loads of laundry, cleaning up messes, wiping bottoms, looking for lost sippy cup lids, and the list goes on. There is no shortage of tasks in this season of life. So what is so enthralling about social media that can steal me away in little 15 to 20 minute intervals adding up to multiple hours every single day?

I think it’s connection. I’m looking for some social interaction to pull me out of my “mom role” and into a community that makes me feel like I haven’t completely lost myself. I’m trying to escape cartoons and crayons for something that feels a little more adult and interesting.

The problem is, social media isn’t really social. It’s actually isolating. While I’m scrolling my newsfeed trying to connect with potential mom friends, I start realizing how put together and accomplished these ladies are. I start comparing myself as I am, still in my jammies at 3pm with peanut butter in my hair, to these perfectly done up mom influencers who apparently are so gorgeous they have photographers following them around as they wander the isles of Target, or sip their Starbucks on a bench. For real though?!? How do they do daily photo shoots in multiple outfits with kids in casually coordinated colors? I don’t get it?!?

Ok rant over. The point to my story is social media isn’t real. I need to get back to real life socializing. I need to make friends that are fun to hang out with in person. Friends that don’t mind my mess, that appreciate the unfiltered me.

I actually had a play date at my house this week and it was so refreshing. I should probably text her and apologize for talking her ear off, but the adult conversation felt so good. Instead of feeling insecure and insignificant like I sometimes do after wasting time on social media, I felt understood and encouraged after spending time with my real life mom friend.

So the only strategy I have so far is to do more “real life” social time. I’m going to be intentional about scheduling weekly play dates. I’m going to leave my phone on the charger and be more present with my family. I’m going to remind myself that social media is not a fix, when what I really need is a friend.

That is all for now, thank you for reading and have a blessed week.

Tatum