I’m an Imperfect Human

It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Nothing horrible. I know there are people who are going through life stuff that is way harder than the culmination of a virus from hell hitting our household with a vengeance and a spiritual funk hitting me in the face. Nevertheless I’m on a struggle bus that I’m having a hard time getting off and I think talking about it here might help me sort it out.

My girls got sick first. I like most mothers of small kids hit the panic button when my babies are sick. It’s the worst thing watching your little ones in pain and not being able to take it way. Well JoJo had it for about 10 days and Ella is still in the last stages with a lingering cough. I managed to make it to about day 11 and thought I was going to get past this nasty thing when I woke up with the worst sore throat of my life and a headache that wouldn’t quit. So I’ve been down for the count the last 4 or 5 days too. If you’re rolling your eyes and thinking…Big deal. We all get sick. It’s that time of year….I’m totally with you. I’d be doing the same if I was reading this somewhere else, but there is something else.

1 Peter 5:8 says, “Be alert and of sober mind, your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

Satan saw that I was having an off week. He saw me up with kids all night and consequently not up early in the morning spending time with God and studying my Bible. He noticed the time I usually spend listening to sermons online I spent rocking sick babies. He caught me at a moment when I wasn’t fully armored. I wasn’t fully connected to my source of power. He tried to devour me. But….

My God saw me too. He saw me mothering the babies that needed me to help them feel better. He saw me frustrated when I got sick and couldn’t get all my daily tasks done like I wanted. He saw my guilt when I slept past my alarm instead of getting up and spending time with Him. He heard me praying for help. He stepped in.

I got a text from a dear friend Saturday afternoon. The timing couldn’t have been much better.

And just like that I knew He had this. I knew everything was going to be ok. My God was working on my behalf. He saw me, and He came running to my rescue. He used a simple text from a friend that was tuned in close enough to Him to know He was asking her to send it to me. He is Good. His timing is perfect.

The next evening I was still muddling through the lingering sore throat and headache. We were sitting on the couch watching the American Rodeo. One of my favorite barrel racers, Hailey Kinsel, won the barrel racing and walked up on stage to receive her $100,000 dollar check. The interviewer asked her a couple questions and she graciously answered. Then she said something that wrecked me. As she stood up on stage in a moment where she easily could of taken the praise and the accomplishment of another big win she instead said, “This is just proof that I’m an imperfect person serving a Perfect God.” I lost it. Jeff might not want to admit it but he lost it too. That’s all that this is about. Hailey said it just right. We are imperfect people serving a PERFECT GOD.

God is so perfect. He is so big, so powerful, so loving and kind. He cares so deeply for a little imperfect human like me. He makes sure I know He is with me, even in moments where my faith is on short supply. He gives me examples of His power and authority when I’m feeling weak. He is my rescuer, when the enemy thinks He has caught me off guard. God is my everything. I will proclaim His Glory forever.

Amen.